In Socionics, each type is thought to have a certain, set relation to each other type, resulting in 16 separate relations and 136 possible pairings to be had between people of specific types.
In this article, I will focus on the four 'nicest' relationships. These are the ones that occur within the same Quadra and so share the same fundamental values for what is important in life. This means that there are no clashes in terms of:
- Uniting together under shared structures vs. staying independent with individuals we trust.
- Accepting and exploring reality vs. rejecting and fighting to change reality.
As such, these relations are usually the most positive for friendships and relationships.
Identity
In this relation, the two types are the same, e.g. ILE-ILE. Consequently, all aspects of personality relevant to Socionics type will be identical for such a pair, with them sharing not only the same values of the Alpha Quadra, but the same strengths and weaknesses, energy levels, and particular emphases and slants on both. As such, identicals tend to understand each-other very quickly and form bonds in less time than the other relations. Despite a very good sense of mutual understanding, ILEs are both good and bad at the same things and as such, have little to offer to each other besides good company. They may empathise with each other's daily inconveniences and life struggles, but identicals are largely unable to provide real help as they are usually going through similar or related troubles. They may end up taking turns to cover each other's weakpoints to a limited extent, although this can be tiring if sustained. Furthermore, identicals may strive to fulfill the same or similar roles in social activity, resulting in a doubling-up effect. When required to compete for the same roles, this can lead to hard feelings when one cannot fulfil the role they want because someone much like them is already doing the job, making some identicals feel superfluous.
Mirroring
For this relation, the two types share the same strengths and weaknesses with the same values, but have contrasting energy levels. As such, mirrors tend to gravitate towards very similar interests and activities, and often have compatible ways of approaching their field. However, mirrors will take contrasting roles in such a field, with the Energiser being more proactive and energetically engaging, while the Integrator is more reactive and carefully analytical. As such, mirrors may adopt slightly different slants on an issue and often have something to add to what the other has already said. Furthermore, Mirrors tend to push different aspects of their Quadra values that may complement each other. However, due to their shared strengths and weaknesses, they are much like identicals in being unable to help each other much. The mirroring relations are: ILE-LII, SEI-ESE, EIE-IEI, LSI-SLE, SEE-ESI, ILI-LIE, LSE-SLI and EII-IEE.
Activity
In this relation, the two types share the same energy levels with the same values, but have contrasting strengths and weaknesses. As such, activators tend to take on similar roles in the social sphere and usually push the same values of their Quadra, decided by their 1st and 6th functions. For these reasons, activators are able to quickly notice each other and form relations rather quickly. However, in performing the same sorts of social roles, activators often tend to engage in a form of friendly competition, trying to do similar things. Despite this, the doubling-up effect of identicals is usually avoided, because activators do not match in their areas of ability, with one having a clear advantage over the other in one area, whether abstract vs. concrete or logical vs. interpersonal and vice versa for the other area. As such, activators mutually aspire towards certain areas and are outmatched in these areas, ordained by their 6th function, while satisfying the main drive of their 1st function. For this reason, activators can often be enjoyable, but challenging and eventually overtiring relations to maintain without rest. The Activation relations are: ILE-ESE, SEI-LII, EIE-SLE, LSI-IEI, SEE-LIE, ILI-ESI. LSE-IEE and EII-SLI
Duality
For this relation, the two types are opposite in their strengths and weaknesses and their energy levels do not match. In fact, these types are almost completely different, making them appear dissimilar. However, they share the same Quadra values, resulting in common preferences and needs. The differences between duals fit together in a form of synergy, with one dual easily covering the weak points of the other with their strong points, and vice versa. As such, duality is a more mutually helpful and constructive relation than Mirroring or Identity. Furthermore, the specific roles that duals wish to actively play in life do not double-up or compete, but mesh together, resulting in each dual performing their roles in a ways that only complement, rather than copy or replace the efforts of the other dual. In this way, duality is more effective in its symbiosis than Activation or Identity. Consequently, duality is commonly thought to be the most beneficial of the relationships in Socionics, and is often portrayed as a sort of panacea to social ailments, with duals bringing to each other exactly the sort of approach that is needed for mutual benefit according to their specific needs. However, it is not without its challenges. Due to the great differences between duals, they are less likely to happen than the other relations above. Duals often fail to notice each other, going towards likeness over the exotic alternative. This is increased by their often very different lifestyles and activities, reducing the likelihood of them coming into contact. In addition, duals are often suspicious or uncertain about their needs and trusting a very unfamiliar sort of person to handle them safely. These can all serve as barriers towards the 'holy grail' of Socionics. The duality relations are: ILE-SEI, ESE-LII, EIE-LSI, SLE-IEI, SEE-ILI, LIE-ESI, LSE-EII, IEE-SLI.
For this relation, the two types are opposite in their strengths and weaknesses and their energy levels do not match. In fact, these types are almost completely different, making them appear dissimilar. However, they share the same Quadra values, resulting in common preferences and needs. The differences between duals fit together in a form of synergy, with one dual easily covering the weak points of the other with their strong points, and vice versa. As such, duality is a more mutually helpful and constructive relation than Mirroring or Identity. Furthermore, the specific roles that duals wish to actively play in life do not double-up or compete, but mesh together, resulting in each dual performing their roles in a ways that only complement, rather than copy or replace the efforts of the other dual. In this way, duality is more effective in its symbiosis than Activation or Identity. Consequently, duality is commonly thought to be the most beneficial of the relationships in Socionics, and is often portrayed as a sort of panacea to social ailments, with duals bringing to each other exactly the sort of approach that is needed for mutual benefit according to their specific needs. However, it is not without its challenges. Due to the great differences between duals, they are less likely to happen than the other relations above. Duals often fail to notice each other, going towards likeness over the exotic alternative. This is increased by their often very different lifestyles and activities, reducing the likelihood of them coming into contact. In addition, duals are often suspicious or uncertain about their needs and trusting a very unfamiliar sort of person to handle them safely. These can all serve as barriers towards the 'holy grail' of Socionics. The duality relations are: ILE-SEI, ESE-LII, EIE-LSI, SLE-IEI, SEE-ILI, LIE-ESI, LSE-EII, IEE-SLI.
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| Duality of ILE and SEI |
It seems to me that duality works most consistently and best when manifest between members of alpha quadra. Do you think duality works better in some quadras than in others?
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